What next?!

Well, it's been a while since I have posted, about a month, what have you been up to? Oh, that's nice. Me? Well, I didn't get the tattoo apprenticeship. In all honesty I kind of knew anyway. The longer they took to get back to me, the less hopeful I became. But what pisses me off is that they responded to me in an email! A freakin' email! So I decided to ask them where I went wrong, but they didn't even get back to me! How the hell am I meant to improve when I don't know where I am going wrong! :( What also pisses me off is the fact that the week before they rejected me, I took my sketch book down to my tattooist while I was getting tattooed and he liked my sketches and he said that I improved! There was even a few sketches that he seemed impressed with!
     So what the france am I meant to do now?! I'm running out of studios in the south west to apply for! At first I thought I was ok with not getting the apprenticeship, I guess they weren't the studio for me. But at the same time, my confidence has been shaken by this and anything that I have drawn since is not worth mentioning. I know this is another crisis of confidence, and yes, I have many but sometimes you just need a bit of valadation that what you're throwing your heart and soul into isn't a complete waste of time.
      Not having a job is starting to destroy me, I feel useless. I'm starting to wonder if my folks where right. I mean, I knew this was gonna be a struggle but fucking hell this is a struggle! Rant over, I'm going to go eat my body weight in chocolate.

Back to the drawing board, literally.

Since the interview at the tattooist for the apprenticeship, I have heard...................................... nothing, not a sausage! :( Online though, they made a statement last week that they where still collecting applications. I don't know whether to be hopeful of this or be sad because I was one of the first people to go up there, did I do enough to stay in their minds? I have been basically willing the phone to ring, just staring at it, hoping and praying to whatever God there is to give me a chance.Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease! Just a chance!!!! God, Buddha, Genesh, Spongebob Squarepants??!!!!! If you hear me, please give me a break! I knew this process was not going to be easy, but it's the being in limbo that really sucks! I'm going out of my mind! There is another tattoo studio in Bristol that I am looking into going to. Maybe tomorrow! I had a fight with my parents at the weekend, it was awhful to say the least and so proving that I can do the tattoo career seems more vital than ever before. My parents aren't opposed to me having a job as a tattooist but they do think that doing this, while trying to save money for a wedding is silly. Anywho, drawings?

I do love drawing swallows :) haven't drawn one in a while and this one I am fairly happy with.

The idea for this one came from something I saw in a tattoo magazine, but I decided to put my own spin on it and I hadn't drawn anything like this before so I wanted to give it a go.

Still drawing eyes :)

A mexican Day of the Dead skull, in a shirt and tie. Everyone's a winner! Well, this has been a serious time of late, I started to draw it this way (with the shirt and tie) and it's just a bit less serious. It's nice not to take yourself too seriously :)

After the previous swallow, I decided to give another one a go, but with a different shape, in terms of the wings. I also drew this yesterday after the big bust up with the parental unit. I have always thought that a lot of tattoos share a certain honesty with them and this one is certainly true of that.

I honestly, don't know what to do about the apprenticeship. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and phone them. I'll keep praying too, I hope Spongebob Squarepants is listening.
                 

July July!

So, I've been to Belfast and back! Had a lovely time whilst there and the weather was actually lovely for a few days! But now that I have left the pub it's back to the serious business of getting a tattoo apprenticeship!

Which actually, I made some progression with last week. There was a post online for an apprentice in a studio in Southmead. Which, for anyone out there who doesn't know, it's an area of Bristol. The studio is about 20mins or so away from the house. So, I phoned and asked when I should pop up. the dude on the other end of the phone said I could go that day! Which I thought sounded good. So I hopped in the shower, got ready, gathered my sketch books and hit the road. It wasn't a very nice day to be walking anywhere, the rain was terrible, it was made a bit worse when I got a little bit lost! Stupid online map!
          Anyway, I got there in one piece. I was shown outside to the studio where they guys tattoo, it's a bit of a funny lay out but it seemed pretty cool. Here, they asked a few questions about my art education, why I wanted to be a tattooist, that kind of thing. The answers I gave I think where ok, but everyone always walks out of interviews wishing they had answered differently, don't they?
         I can not explain how nervous I was! It was pretty intense to say the least, I could hardly hold the pencil! I had been informed that in some tattooists they will get the new apprentice to draw for them, as a way of figuring out what kind of standard they are at in their drawing. This isn't totally uncommon, but difficult to draw properly when the pencil is shaking because you can't quite control your hand! I was asked to draw a rose and then a skull. Both of these I have draw many times, just check the drawings that I have posted! The rose wasn't too bad from what I remember, but the skull! Oh! The skull! :( if I don't get the apprenticeship, I'm going to put it down to the skull! It could have been sooooooooooo much better. I did tell them I was nervous but I doubt that will have saved me any embarrassment. But I would like to point out that the reason I was so super nervous is because I want this so badly! There was a bit more chat and then they said they had other people to interview for the job and that they would let me know next week, meaning this week! I think I could have been better so I'm not pinning all my hopes on this one. But when I know, you'll know.

After all that! Here is what I have been drawing lately......................

Most sacred hearts are always drawn with a regular <3 but for this drawing, I had the idea to incorperate and anatomical heart.

This one is my fiance's favourite. It's a image that I have drawn a lot of times, but I am taking more time with what I draw now. And I think this has helped my drawing get better. Everyone is always telling me to be patient.

This drawing is kind of unfinished but I quite like it so I decided to post it anyways! Hehe!

For my last picture it's normally something funny or silly. But this time around, I have two photos........

Found in a shop in Belast that specialises in all kinds of religious statues and ornaments. I had to get a pic of this :)

These two beautiful moths where found at the front of my parents house..................

This photo helps to show the size of the moths, they where big! But oh so beautiful! They stayed there, getting funky for about 17hours. Nature is pretty cool, I think so anyway! :)

Get your draw on..............

Oh Hello Bloggy bloggy blog! :)

Right, it has been a few weeks, I think! But I have been drawing away, trying to improve. I have also left my job in the pub. My lovely fiance and I are in a financially better situation at the moment where I can take time out of working to have a full time job of looking for an apprenticeship! :) Send out positive vibes for me pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

I have been emailing lots of tattooists far and wide, with my drawings, most with no response, but I'm not giving up hope. Going to Belfast on Friday and when we return I'm going to start going to more local tattooists to show them my sketches. I'll hound them if I have to! Just even to be there one day a week, to sweep the floors, make the cups of tea, take out the rubbish, scrub the toilet, whatever it takes, I am prepared to do it! I might even look into speaking to some Belfast tattooists, we could move home! :O

I'm still trying to get better at drawing people and I think I'm getting there. But I feel I need to tackle a few more styles too.

I drew this one on the train on the way to Exeter. It was an experience.

Ok, so I only have three drawings to post, however, I am taking more time to draw these days. Which was something that I was advised to do. I would rather post a few great standard drawings rather than a load of of crappy sketches. I have been told that the days of mediocre tattoos are over. If you want to get into the tattoo industry then you have to have something that puts you above the rest. And that's what I plan to do.

Just for fun.....

Can you feel the love?

Tattoo anyone?

Before I continue. I am fully aware of how many people in the tattoo industry view people who tattoo from home without the proper precautions. And although I know I shouldn't use my machine, I'm not stupid, I'm well read and I have a knowledge behind what I'm doing. I am not the average 'scratcher' I'm not just doing this for a laugh, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life! And as at the moment getting an apprenticeship is virtually impossible, I am at a loss to understand how I am meant progress and gain a better understanding of tattooing. I eat, sleep and breathe tattoos. And for the record, I'm not making tattooing from my house a business, I want to be known for great, beautiful, amazing tattoos. I know I have to be patient but when the industry can be so closed off it's hard to keep fighting your way back in.


After that rant, yes, I'm still desperate to be a tattooist! Send out some positive vibes for me! :) But I'm still getting on with getting tattoos!

Recently had my rainbow filled in aswell as the unicorn! More recently than that I had the flower on my elbow done! I've no photos of it yet, but it's a pain like no other!!

I tattooed myself! :O

I let my house-mate tattoo me!

I tattooed this on my friend Charean. Big up Charean for letting my practice! :) it's her babys hand prints arranged to be a butterfly sort of shape, along with her name Zaniya Mae and below the date and time she was born. I'm very proud of this and so is Charean :)

Where have you been all my life?

Ok, after a rather long absence, I'm back!

I've no excuse for not blogging really, but then, I have to draw things so that there is something to post! :O

Here we go.....

I decided to drawing pencil for this one. I am pleased with it, I feel I'm getting better with the facial features. But I still love the contrast that you get when using pen.

I did this doodle in work and it was the smaller version for the previous picture.

I had the idea for this drawing on the plane on the way to Belfast, and I gotta say, I am pleased with it. There's something very honest about an anatomically correct heart. I might draw this again in black and see what happens, or maybe red would be more fitting?

I drew this while watching Romeo and Juliet. Lots of iconic and religious imagery going on. Although this sketch isn't very detailed, I wanted to first get the shapes and proportions correct before I tackled the finer details. I'm still to re-draw this image on a larger scale.

Again, drawn while watching Romeo and Juliet. Just a quick sketch of the sacred heart which appears a lot in the movie. I'd like to try this but with the anatomically correct heart in there.

I think there is something missing in the sketch. Maybe some more roses? But then when designing tattoos, I am very aware not to add too many thing to the drawing or it looks cluttered. You and always add if you need too, but you can't always take away!

Eye, eye! There's something great about drawing eyes. Everyone has them, they can show our emotions without having to say anything and they are so different from person to person. I've been trying to improve drawing eyes for a long time. I've felt that the ones I draw lack a certain realism.

Looking at how other artists approach drawing eyes is really helpful. Like Kat Von D. I've been 'following' Miss Von D on twitter for a while now and her drawings are amazing! Observing what she has drawn gives me ideas for how I can approach what I'm going to draw. So a big big thank you for that, Kat! And I apologise for trying to talk to you on twitter when I'd had too much wine! =/

Another artist I'm totally loving right now and have admired for a long time is Terry Bradley. He is a Belfast-based artist and he totally rocks! His work is mainly paintings of people. And if his work shown me anything it's that it doesn't always need to be exact, that it can be from your perceptions too. He has no formal art qualifications and he has become very successful. So if anyone needed proof that you don't need to go to university to be an artist then there you go. Wish I'd known that! :O

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

Finally back again! :)

My wee lap top had a bit of a virus or worm and was out of action for a while, and then trying to write a blog from a smart phone is not easy, and here i was thinking that smart phones where here to make our lives easier? :O

Anywho, I've been trying to draw a lot more, got a few drawings that I'm happy with. I seem to draw a lot better when I don't set out to draw something, then everything has a better flow.

I love to draw in black pen, I love the contrast that you can achieve with it.

Still trying really to get better at drawing people even on Hello Kitty paper :P

I'm not sure what it is I like about this drawing. But I think there is an almost 'puppet-like' way to this one, created by the lines that I used as a way to structure the face.

I also tattooed Luke, my husband-to-be a couple of weeks ago, which was ok, a lot better than it has turned out before. But I hope to get him back under the needle because I have ordered some thicker needles, liners, so I can get a more robust line :) I knew it wouldn't be easy to get into tattooing and I do often question if I'm good enough, but I just wish I was getting some where with it. But then I should be working harder to get there, I know it's not good to make excuses but sometimes life gets in the way. I need to work harder at tattooing.

In other news......

I seem to be collecting photos of anything that has a smiley face on it! Hehehe!

Being back in Belfast last week was really refreshing, the sun was shining and it was really lovely, even if it was only for a few days. I used to hate Belfast, I couldn't wait to get outta there, it was backwards, full of narrow minded people, people that are content with being stuck there and in a lot of ways it hasn't changed. But having moved away I have grown to appreciate the homeland, it ain't that bad really.

<3

We have found a wedding venue! Yay! We haven't confirmed it yet, but the date we have requested is free and the people at the hotel know that we want that date. It's a big thing, getting married. I never knew there was so much involved not just in planning, but also in the emotional side of things, deciding to stay with one person forever, wanting to make them happy. I love that I was looking for Luke when I found him, or that he isn't that type of man that people would expect to see me with, but I think that's what makes it more beautiful. I think it's an amazing thing to want to commit your life to another person. Especially when most marriages today seem to crumble, not that celebrity marriages are anything to go by.

I'm off to bed! Sleepy! But it's great to have the blog back! :)
Big love!